


Stranded Here With You

by xxawalkinwonderlandxx



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clarke and Bellamy show up to the cabin early, Clarke decides to try and surprise her friends, Exes to Lovers, F/M, and both get snowed in, but the weather has other ideas, mention of a parental death, stranded in a cabin in a snowstorm, this is my first exes to lovers to pls be nice lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:00:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28218111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxawalkinwonderlandxx/pseuds/xxawalkinwonderlandxx
Summary: Clarke decided that she was going to go to the cabin early and get some things ready before the rest of her friends show up, except now she’s stranded there with a snowstorm...and Bellamy. The guy she broke up with six months ago. And they’re alone. In a cabin. With no electricity. But, it’ll be fine, right?
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 127
Collections: Bellarke-Mas Secret Santa





	Stranded Here With You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [virgohotspot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/virgohotspot/gifts).



> So, for the 12 Days of Bellarke-Mas Secret Santa, I got virgohotspot and she gave some amazing prompts so I chose exes to lovers + stranded together in the middle of a snowstorm :) this is my first exes to lovers fic, so I hope all of you enjoy it!

The cabin was a sight to see, covered in white and surrounded by even more of it, and Clarke lets out a happy sigh as she pulls into the driveway. _It definitely looks a lot better now than in the pictures_. She pulls on her hat and her gloves before grabbing her bags off her passenger seat, then steels herself as she opens her car door and plunges herself into the freezing cold. She’s not expecting the cabin to be _that_ warm, but anything would be better than the ice that’s outside.

Her boots sink in the snow, and she can feel the snowflakes beginning to seep through her hat, which only makes her trudge towards the front door even faster. Her hands shake as she tries to slip in the key, but once it’s in the lock, she’s in the house. Having the cabin door close behind her feels great, even if she does have snow she has to clean up now.

She looks around, the only light coming in from the open curtains, and then makes her way towards the couch, setting down her bags. _Well, there’s definitely a lot to work with_. The cabin has already been decorated for Christmas, but she brought a few extra strings of garland and some more lights to hang on the bar, and she also brought some food so she can surprise her friends when they show up in two days. Honestly, she probably didn’t _have_ to show up today, but she wanted it to be a surprise.

Clarke walks towards the thermostat and turns it up a little, making sure it’s on heat, and then she grabs her bag with her clothes and makes her way towards one of the bedrooms. She and Raven will share a room with two beds, then there’s another room with two bunk beds for the guys, and Octavia and Lincoln are getting their own room. Clarke throws her bag on the bed that’s on the right, then looks out of the window.

Snow is already beginning to build on the windowsill, and it’s becoming harder for her to see further in the distance. _I hope everyone else can make it here_. They’ve all been checking the news religiously since they decided to book this place, and there was never any mention about a snow storm coming in or anything that would suggest none of them would be able to make it.

Biting the inside of her cheek, Clarke turns and walks back out towards the living room, shrugging her coat off as she goes. She’s actually excited to get some peace and quiet to herself. She doesn’t remember the last time she had that. She places her wet coat on the rack and then runs her hands up and down her arms before grabbing her bag off the couch and making her way into the kitchen. It was a long drive to get here, and the McDonald’s she had only goes so far.

There’s a slight chill in the cabin, so she hopes that using the stove will be enough to kickstart the actual warmth, and then she pulls out her phone and puts on her Christmas Playlist as she opens her bag and looks at what’s inside.

~

Three hours later, she’s curled up on the couch with spiked hot chocolate, having the news playing as she scrolls mindlessly on her phone. She made instant ramen earlier, and she’s currently trying to keep herself from making cookies, so she doesn’t eat them all before everyone else gets there. Really, she should have packed a game or something to play, or a book. But, for some reason, that totally slipped her mind, so all she really has to do is scroll on Instagram, then Facebook, then Twitter, and back again.

“A snowstorm is expected to take shape late tonight and early in the morning. Power outages are expected, and, as usual, make sure to leave some water in your taps running so they don’t freeze. High winds and freezing temperatures are expected so stay inside and stay safe.”

Clarke’s eyes whip up towards the T.V. that’s over the fire mantle, her heartbeat beginning to grow louder in her ears as she stares at the words in front of her.

_Snowstorm Advisory: Stay Inside_

_What the fuck?_ Nowhere did she ever see _anything_ about a snowstorm. Sure, the temperatures seemed like they were going to stay low, and there would be snow, but a snow _storm_? _Oh, god. This cannot be happening_. If there was going to be a storm, then that meant that her friends probably couldn’t make it, and if they couldn’t make it, then she was going to be stuck in the cabin by herself until who knows when.

Taking a deep breath, Clarke pulls up Raven’s number and presses the call button. The phone rings, and Clarke chews at her bottom lip as she looks out the window. The snow doesn’t seem like it’s picked up, but would she be able to get out of here with enough time to get away from the storm? _From what they’re showing on the radar, it looks big—_

“Hello?”

“Rae?” Clarke says, her eyes still glued on the T.V., and she can hear some shuffling on the other end of the phone.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Have you checked the weather for the cabin yet?”

“Yeah, I was just looking at it. I guess you saw it, too?”

“I’m going to be in the middle of it.” Clarke swallows a little hard as she says the words, and she can feel her stomach drop. She’s never been _in_ a snowstorm before. Anytime her parents brought her to the cabin, it was always just soft snow and hardly ever any heavy winds, but if she has to be here by herself…

“ _What?”_

“I’m already at the cabin. I came early so I could surprise everyone but—”

“You need to get out of there. Screw being there early, the news—”

“Bellamy’s on his way to the cabin,” Octavia says from somewhere in the back, and Clarke’s heart nearly stops. “He said he was going to go early so we would have enough firewood, but if the snow gets any worse…” Clarke can hear Octavia trail off, and suddenly a lot of emotions hit Clarke at once.

 _Bellamy is coming here?_ Her heart begins to race, and her hands start to turn sweaty, and a pain spears through her chest as she thinks about having to see him. _How could we be near each other?_ After what happened six months ago, she’s avoided him ever since.

“Tell him to turn around. If he hasn’t made it there yet, then he could have time to _not_ get stuck there,” Raven says, talking to Octavia, and Clarke takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Clarke, you there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” She tries to keep her voice from shaking, but there’s no use. _If Bellamy can turn around, then it’ll be for the best. Then that way—_

“Bell’s not answering!” Octavia calls, and the rising worry in Octavia’s voice causes Clarke to begin to panic, too. _What if he doesn’t make it here in time? Does he even know about the storm?_

“If Bellamy shows up, I’ll let you know,” Clarke says after a moment, and she can hear Raven moving throughout her apartment.

“Clarke—”

“Someone has to be here to make sure he’s safe, right? I’ll let y’all know when he gets here. He might not know about the storm, and if Octavia can’t get ahold of him, then I need to stay here.”

Her voice shakes as she thinks about being stuck in a cabin with him for who knows how long, but she can’t just leave when there’s a possibility he might need her help with something here. Then again, she doesn’t want to be stuck alone in a cabin by herself, but that sounds better than being stuck in one with _him_.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Clarke nods her head, knowing her friend can’t see her. “I’ll be fine. I mean, we are friends. Right?”

They’re not—at least, not anymore—but Raven only says, “Right,” before telling Clarke to call Octavia the moment Bellamy shows up and that she’s going to call everyone else and let them know what’s going on.

When the phone call ends, Clarke grips her phone in her hand as she looks back out the window. She gets up, holding her mug of hot chocolate against her chest as she tries to see if she can find any headlights on the road or any indication that there’s someone driving towards her, but all she can see is white fluff.

She’s thought about reaching out to him, trying to talk to him, but she never did. For the past six months, they haven’t said a word to each other or even went to the same outings with their friends, and now she tries to fight the rising worry that’s beginning to form in the pit of her stomach. She doesn’t want to be here with him but wants him safe.

~

Eventually, Clarke falls asleep on the couch, but she leaves on all of the lights, hoping that if the storm does hit before Bellamy can get there, then he’ll be able to see the place. It must work because she starts awake to the sound of the front door of the cabin opening and closing and the sound of the wind whipping around outside. She props herself up as she looks over the back of the couch and, sure enough, Bellamy is there with snow clinging to the curls that are poking out from under his beanie, and there’s snow all over the floor, but he’s here, and he seems fine.

After he stomps off some of the snow, he turns around and freezes as the two of them look at each other. His scarf is halfway off, and his eyes are wide, but Clarke is pretty sure hers look the same way. _Well. Here we are._

“I told Raven I’d call Octavia when you showed up,” she says, breaking the silence that was beginning to stretch out between them.

Still, Bellamy doesn’t say anything as Clarke grabs her phone off the coffee table and pulls up Octavia’s contact. This time, the phone barely has time to ring once.

“Clarke? Is he there?”

“Yeah, he’s here.” Clarke pointedly ignores Bellamy even though she can tell that he’s still looking at her, and then she holds out the phone. He takes it silently, and Clarke gets up, deciding to go into the kitchen.

 _God._ For some reason, she expected herself to actually have something to say, but she doesn’t. _What is there to say? I know I broke up with you, but now we get to be stranded in a cabin in a storm together after not talking to each other for six months? What the fuck would that do?_

She grabs the bottle of spiced rum and another pack of hot chocolate, then she grabs the milk out of the fridge and begins making herself another drink. She still feels tired, and if Bellamy doesn’t want to talk, she could consider this a nightcap and go into her room until morning. She can hear him talking on the other side of the wall but she tries to push it out as she puts her mug in the microwave. _How are we the ones in the middle of this?_

Clarke is so caught up in her own head that she doesn’t notice when the conversation ends or hear Bellamy’s footsteps as he walks into the kitchen. It’s like one moment there’s an empty space beside her, and the next he’s there, holding her phone out to her.

“Thanks. My phone died,” Bellamy says, and Clarke keeps her eyes focused on her mug as she rips open the bag of hot chocolate.

“I figured.” She takes her phone without looking at him still, but she’s very aware of how close he is to her and the fact that they’ve gone from being friends to whatever this is.

Bellamy doesn’t say anything as he reaches out and grabs the bottle of alcohol, and then he’s grabbing a mug and a pack of mix, too. She looks at him out of the corner of her eye, wondering if he didn’t bring any chocolate to make his drink from scratch how he usually would, but when Bellamy looks at her before moving towards the microwave, Clarke takes a silent deep breath before making her way towards her bedroom.

The T.V. is still on so he can watch the news if he wants, and she’s sure Octavia probably told him where he could sleep since he initially wasn’t going to come. When they booked the cabin two months ago, Octavia said that Bellamy was going to be busy, but Clarke didn’t know what that meant. Or what he could have to do besides spending time with his sister and his friends. For a time, she thought that he had a girlfriend and that her friends just didn’t want to tell her that, but she didn’t ask. Now, though, she can’t help but wonder what brought him here.

She tries to push those thoughts out of her head as she sets her hot chocolate down on the nightstand and crawls under the covers, then she sips on her drink slowly. _It’ll only be for a few days, and then we’ll get out of here and pretend like it never happened. This cabin is big enough for the both of us._

_Right?_

~

When Clarke wakes up the next morning, everything is cold. The temperature of the air in her room has dropped substantially to the point where she’s not even sure any heat got into her room after she closed the door, and when she breathes out, she can just make out a small cloud dissipating in front of her.

She shivers as she sits up, the warmth she garnered under the blanket completely disappearing, and then she pulls her bag out from under her bed. She didn’t put on any socks last night, and the long sleeve shirt she’s wearing doesn’t seem to be doing anything, so she grabs two pairs of socks, sweatpants, another long sleeve shirt, and a sweatshirt and pulls them all on before making her way towards her door.

The hallway is freezing, too, and no lights are on. Clarke shuffles into the living room in time to see Bellamy pulling on his coat and his hat, and she looks out of the window. There’s nothing but a swirling wall of white, and Bellamy seems adamant about going out into it.

“What are you doing?”

“Going to get firewood.” He doesn’t look back as he says it, pulling his scarf over his neck, and Clarke looks from him to the window and back again.

“You can’t be serious.”

“We need it.”

“Any firewood they have is going to be wet. It’s not worth it.”

Bellamy turns around, his black hair covered and his scarf nearly covering his face. She hates that her thoughts turn to just how beautiful he is, but she can’t help it. She never could. Until she had to.

“And staying here and freezing our asses off is?” His voice is hard and his eyes sharp, almost like the day—

“Fine,” she says, then she begins shuffling her way towards her coat and boots. “But I’m coming with you.”

“Like hell, you are.”

“And how are you going to stop me?” She raises an eyebrow at him before turning and pulling on her coat over her sweatshirt, and then she begins tucking her sweatpants into her boots.

She can practically hear the silent curses that Bellamy is going through in his head, but she doesn’t bother to look at him once her hat is on, opting to push past him and open the door. The handle gets ripped from her hand as the door flies back, but Bellamy is there, grabbing it before it can hit the wall.

“It’s windy.”

“You don’t say,” Clarke huffs, and she’s pretty sure she can hear Bellamy sigh before they both plunge out into the cold.

She can barely make anything out as she tries to look for a pile of wood, but she doesn’t remember seeing any when she first pulled up the night before. Bellamy doesn’t say anything as he begins trekking through the snow to the side of the house, and Clarke hurries to follow him, trying to step in the same spots he did, but his stride is longer than hers. She huddles down a little, bending her head to the wind, but she can just see enough to see the bottom of a tarp as Bellamy’s gloved hand reaches out to move it.

Sure enough, there _is_ firewood but, looking at it, Clarke wonders just how well it will light. Bellamy begins loading his arms down, and Clarke moves to do the same, but the snow is beginning to get caught in her eyelashes, and it’s scraping her face. She tries to hurry, but her shivering is only getting worse. She’s not sure if Bellamy sees that she’s shivering terribly or if he’s beginning to freeze, too, because he says, “I think we have enough. Let’s get back.”

 _No argument here._ This time, it’s Clarke who leads the way. She tries to step in the same spots she did before, but they’re already beginning to disappear from the incoming snow. She huddles over the wood, trying to keep it as dry as she possibly can, and when she reaches the door, she shoulders it open. Honestly, she would probably suffered if Bellamy hadn’t shown up.

The thought hits her as she puts the wood down next to the fireplace, and Bellamy is beside her, kneeling down as he arranges some of the logs within it. _Can I even tell him that?_ So far, the only talking they’ve done is arguing over the firewood, and before that, it was just two things.

“So, what? No ‘thank you’?” He asks, looking at her out of the corner of his eye, and Clarke crosses her arms over her chest as she looks down at him.

“Why would I thank you? I got wood, too.”

“Only because I brought it up. You wouldn’t have gone to get it if I wasn’t here.”

Clarke glares at him, but she knows he’s right. “I forgot how much of an asshole you are.”

“An asshole who’s keeping you alive,” he huffs, and Clarke decides to go into the kitchen to see what she can get to eat, leaving Bellamy to deal with the fire.

Except, there’s nothing. Well, nothing to eat that she would have to _cook_ , but she does have some already made cookies, and then there’s bread and small jars of peanut butter and jelly, but she wasn’t exactly expecting to just survive off those until she can get out of here. Sighing, Clarke takes out two slices of the bread and grabs a butterknife, eyeing the box of Swiss Miss that she was hoping to have more of today.

By the time she finishes making her sandwich, the smell of fire begins to waft in from the living room, and she picks up her sandwich before standing near the doorway. There’s a slight orange glow coming from the fireplace, and Bellamy is there blowing on it. His red beanie is gone, and his curls are wet as the fire begins to grow in front of him, casting a warm light on his already golden skin. Clarke looks away, turning her attention to the sandwich in her hands, and Bellamy leans back on his heels as he holds his hands out to the fire.

“The wood is a little wet, but it should dry out,” he says, and Clarke nods her head as she takes a bite of her sandwich. She doesn’t know if he saw her nod, but he looks over at her, his eyes drifting from her face to the sandwich. “Mind if I get one?”

“Go for it.”

Bellamy nods his head as he walks towards the kitchen and Clarke moves past him to sit on the couch. It’s still cold this far away from the fire, but she doesn’t want to run the risk of the two of them trying to sit down in front of it. Sitting in front of fires with your ex isn’t the best way to pass the time.

“What time did the power go out?” Clarke calls over her shoulder, and she can hear the lid to the jelly pop open.

“I don’t know. I woke up just before you did.”

“Is there a radio?”

“I didn’t find one.”

Then, silence. _I should have just kept my mouth shut._ How is she supposed to talk to him? Even though it’s been months, he still knows her. He knows she wouldn’t have gone out to get the firewood if he wasn’t there. So, how much else does he remember about her?

Bellamy comes to sit in front of the fire, though he sits a little off to the side and props his elbows up on his knees as he takes a bite of his peanut butter and jelly. If they’re going to be here together, Clarke wants to think that they could get through it without talking to each other, but wouldn’t that make things worse? Before everything, they were friends. Before that night they first got together and definitely before that night everything ended.

Clarke bites the inside of her cheek before taking another bite of her sandwich, and then she turns and looks out of the window. The snow doesn’t seem like it’s going to let up anytime soon, and if it’s going to be getting dark in a few hours, then it’s not like they would be able to leave even if it did. So, she sinks down lower on the couch, her sandwich still in her hands, hoping she can sleep the rest of the time here away.

~

When she wakes up for a second time, the house is nearly black except for the light coming from the fireplace, and Bellamy is laid out on the floor wrapped up in a blanket. There’s even one over her, and Clarke’s heart aches as she plays with the edge of it. She sits up, and the sound of the couch moving causes Bellamy to look over at her. 

“What time is it?” 

“About eight,” he says softly, and he sits up, too. “The snow lightened a little.” Clarke looks out the window and, sure enough, the snow isn’t a swirling mess like how it was earlier, but it’s still snowing. “I went out and tried to get more firewood, but I couldn’t see anything. So—”

“You went out without me?” She hadn’t even heard the door close. 

“You were sleeping.” Bellamy stands then, stretching, and Clarke looks away from where his sweater rides up over his stomach. “Hungry?”

“I can cook for myself,” she mumbles, looking back down at the blanket, and Bellamy doesn’t say anything as he makes his way towards the kitchen, and Clarke gets up and follows him. 

The rest of the cabin is so cold compared to their little spot in the living room, and Clarke wraps her arms around herself. Bellamy grabs the bag of bread and takes out two slices before placing the bag between the two of them on the counter, and then he moves to the peanut butter, and Clarke bites the inside of her cheek as she grabs the bread. 

They work in silence, moving around each other. It’s hard to believe that even at this point, they still flow together like they’re still friends, but Clarke knows she shouldn’t be as surprised as she is. Even when they didn’t get along, they still fit together better than either of them ever expected. Which is probably why it made sense for them to be together.

When they’re done making their sandwiches, Bellamy also grabs the bottle of rum, and when Clarke looks from the bottle to him, they just look at each other for a moment before making their way back into the living room. For a moment, Clarke considers climbing back into the couch, but when she walks by the fire, she can feel the warmth seeping through her clothes and before she knows it, she’s sitting down on the pallet that he’s made. 

He doesn’t sit right beside her, but he’s close enough to where Clarke is very much aware of all of his movements. She hasn’t been this close to him in what feels like forever, and now here they are. She absent-mindedly eats her sandwich, and neither of them talk, but when Bellamy opens the rum, he takes a sip and then hands it out to her. 

_What do we talk about? Do we talk about anything?_ Should they? 

But, there’s nothing. 

Neither of them say anything as they continue to eat, and somehow that seems much worse.

~

At some point, Bellamy lays down, and Clarke takes that as her cue to get off his makeshift bed and head back to the couch, but the idea of having to get up and leave the warmth of the fire and try and huddle under her blanket doesn’t seem like a good idea. She sits there, chewing at her bottom lip as she wonders if she can get away with staying here a little longer. She feels warmer from the alcohol, too, but she knows that she shouldn’t believe her body when it comes to that. They probably shouldn’t have drank to begin with.

When she moves to get up, she can see Bellamy looks towards her. “Where are you going?”

“I’m getting on the couch.”

He sighs, reaching out and grabbing the sleeve of her shirt. “Don’t make this hard. Just stay by the fire.”

“But you’re sleeping here. Right?”

“Is that a problem?”

“I don’t know, I mean—”

“We’ve slept next to each other before, Clarke,” Bellamy sighs. “Besides, you’re supposed to stay next to someone when it’s freezing.”

She knows that but the idea of staying next to _him_... Clarke doesn’t argue anymore as she settles back down into her spot, and Bellamy puts one hand behind his head as he unscrews the lid to the rum with the other. Clarke lays back, too, and when she’s settled, Bellamy hands her the bottle.

They’ve drunk more than she thought they would, but she can’t say she’s upset with it. She doesn’t feel as tense as she did earlier, but the butterflies in her stomach from him having her stay with him makes her a little uneasy. She’s never done this with an ex before. Let alone someone like Bellamy.

They stay that way for a while. Not talking and just passing the bottle back and forth. All of Clarke’s thoughts seem to be trying to run into each other as she lays there, and she tries to push them away. But, of course, she can’t.

“Why are you here, Bellamy?” She asks after a while, and Bellamy takes a sip before handing the bottle to her again. If she hadn’t been drinking she would probably be terrified of the fact that she just asked that, but she’s not. She just wants to know why. _Like everything else_.

“Because it’s Christmas and my little sister asked me to.”

“You originally told her you were busy.”

“Plans change.”

 _What plans?_ When Octavia originally said that Bellamy had things that he needed to do, she wondered if he someone else he was going to spend time with. The thought never crossed her mind that maybe he didn’t want to come solely because of _her_ and here they are stuck in said cabin together with their friends hours away.

“We used to be good, didn’t we?” Her voice is barely above a whisper, and she wonders if she meant to even say it out loud. They used to be good together but now they can barely hold a conversation with one another.

“I thought so,” he says after a moment, and Clarke can feel a lump form in her throat. He turns on his side to look at her then, pillowing his head with his arm, and Clarke takes a sip of the rum before turning her head towards him.

“I never wanted it to be like this.”

Bellamy’s lips press together for a moment and she hands him the bottle, but he doesn’t drink from it. “You’re the one who left me, Clarke.” Bellamy’s voice is low, and even though she tries to keep her breathing steady, her shivering doesn’t help. She knows what happened. She doesn’t need him to tell her.

She pushed him away, and he let her.

“You didn’t try to stop me,” she says, looking at an empty spot between them. Sadness and anger both begin to swirl inside of her, and she wishes it would go away.

“I wasn’t going to beg for you to stay with me. I’m not going to make someone stay with me if they don’t want to. Is that what you wanted me to do? Me to—”

“Something!” Her voice cracks as she looks at him then, tears forming in her eyes. “I wanted you to do _something_ instead of just accepting it.” And then she breaks.

A sob wracks her body before she can stop it and she clamps one of her hands over her mouth to try and stifle it. All of the emotions that she’s tried to push away for the past six months come back in full force and there’s no way she can stop them. She pushed him away when her life had been turned upside down and he didn’t try to fight her on it. He let her go, just how she asked, and he did it. He accepted it.

She knows she shouldn’t be blaming him when in reality the person she’s angry with is herself. She shouldn’t have broken up with him, either, but at the time she didn’t want to bring him down with her. Her father dying felt like it broke her and she didn’t want Bellamy to have to pick up the pieces. He would have, though. She knows he would have. He would have picked up her shattered pieces and tried to put them back together until his hands bled, and she didn’t want to see him do it. 

“Clarke.” He reaches out, his hand wrapping around her wrist but she tries to push him away. She doesn’t need him to try and make up for her decision. Her mistake. 

“No,” she tries, pulling her arm out of his grip, but Bellamy only sighs and grabs her again, pulling her towards him.

“Body heat,” he mumbles, and he wraps his arms around her as Clarke cries into his chest. 

_Why did I let him go?_ She knows that being with him would have made things easier, but how could she have stayed with him when she felt the way she did? She thinks back to that night and how heartbroken he looked. The pain on his face and the way his eyes shined before the tears rolled down his cheeks. She knew she was hurting him, but she knew it was the best thing she could have done. She had to make the decision for him before it was too late.

The sobs wrack her body more than the shivering but Bellamy only holds her close as she cries. He runs his hand up and down her back, seemingly trying to warm her up, and his other hand tucks her into his chest. He shouldn’t be doing this for her, especially after what she’s put him through, but he is. _Of course, he is_. And it only makes her want to cry harder.

“I never wanted to lose you,” she says between sobs, pulling back to look at him. “I never wanted—”

She begins to cry again and Bellamy brings her back to him. “Shh…” he whispers, massaging her scalp with his fingers. “It’s okay, Clarke.”

“It’s _not_.” She pushes away from him again, trying to take a deep breath to steady herself. “I pushed you away. It’s _my fault_. I pushed you away when I didn’t want to.”

Bellamy’s dark eyes search her face, his eyebrows furrowing together as they look at each other. “Then, why did you?”

Clarke’s eyes burn and there’s an ache in her chest, but she feels so much warmer than she did before. She looks from Bellamy’s eyes to his chin, running her finger over the top of his sweater. 

“I thought I was saving you.” 

“From what?” 

Clarke swallows hard, still not looking at him. “Me.”

“Clarke…”

“I know how it sounds,” she whispers, her voice tight. “I know, I just—” she takes another deep breath and Bellamy runs his fingers through her hair. “I knew you would have tried to help me in any way you could, but I didn’t want you to sacrifice anything for me. I thought I was making the right decision, because love makes you blind and I would have gone to the ends of the earth to make you happy if that’s what it took. But I didn’t want you to do that for me.”

She brings her eyes up to his, but she can’t tell what he’s thinking. Like there’s a mask that’s been slid over his face, hiding him from her. She just told him that she loves him—that he must have loved her. They never said the words to each other when they were together, and especially not before then, but she did. She loved him and that’s why she knew she had to let him go. Even though he took her heart with him when she did.

“You’re right,” he says softly. “I would have done whatever I could to help you, but because you loved me doesn’t mean you can make that decision for someone, Clarke.”

“Bellamy—”

“I still love you.” His eyes are bright as he tells her, and Clarke feels like her heart is going to beat out of her chest. “You asked me why I came…” he takes a deep breath, and Clarke reaches up slightly, running the tips of her fingers over the stubble that’s beginning to form on his jaw, “and it’s because I couldn’t stand to not have you in my life anymore. We were great together, and I would rather have you in my life as a distant friend than not at all. If that’s what I had to do—”

Clarke tilts her head up and presses her lips to his. It’s not the cleanest kiss they’ve shared, and the little voice in the back of her head is screaming at her what is she doing, but she’s missed the feeling of his lips on hers and the way his hand cups the back of her head. Like the very first time they kissed, it feels like the most normal thing in the world. It feels _right_. It always did.

When they pull apart, Bellamy’s eyes are wide and Clarke’s heart hammers against her ribs. _I can’t believe I just did that_. But looking down at his lips, she wants to do it again. She’s missed him so much, even if she didn’t want to admit it. She looks back into his eyes, cupping the side of his face with her hand.

“I love you, too, Bellamy,” she whispers, forcing herself to not look away from the intensity of his gaze. “I never stopped.”

Bellamy leans forward, his lips barely grazing hers before he stops, seeming like he’s waiting for her to say yes. Clarke moves her hand from the side of his face to the nape of his neck, tangling her fingers in his curls and bringing him closer. This time, Bellamy’s tongue finds hers as he flattens his hand against her lower back, pressing her into him. It’s slow, and soft, and Clarke tries to tell him how much she’s missed him.

His hand slips under her layers of clothes and Clarke sighs at the feeling of his hand on her bare back. She hooks her leg around his and rolls onto her back, bringing him on top of her, and Bellamy settles his weight on her. Clarke moans into his mouth, always having loved the feeling of their bodies trying to meld together, and Bellamy pecks her lips then the corner of her mouth before propping himself up.

“Clarke,” he whispers, and she tilts her head up to give him another kiss. “Are you sure?”

“Body heat,” she says, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning, but Bellamy smiles down at her.

“Right. Body heat. That’s very important.” 

“Mhm.” Clarke bites at her bottom lip as she nods her head, but then she’s wrapping herself around him as she brings him in to kiss her. _This_ is right. Not the half-assed conversations and barely able to look at each other, but them smiling and whispering to each other as they take off the other’s clothes. 

The giggling that comes when Bellamy struggles to get her leggings off and the laugh that he gives when Clarke gets frustrated with his pants button. Looking up at him, Clarke wonders how she could have ever believed she would be able to spend her life without him.

These past six months were terrible.

When all of the clothes are gone, Clarke pulls Bellamy back down to where his chest presses into hers and they kiss again. There’s no rush for them, being snowed in hours away from anyone with just each other and the fire. Right now, they have all the time in the world and a lot of missed time to make up for. 

He kisses her deeply, his hands tangling in her hair, and then he kisses her cheek and her jaw, further and further down until he sucks at the junction of her neck and shoulder. Clarke clutches at him, a soft moan filling the empty cabin and Bellamy nips at her skin. 

“Bellamy,” she murmurs, and she brings his lips back up to hers. 

There’s an ache inside of her that only he can get rid of. He gives into her, letting her lick into his mouth as she reaches down to wrap her hand around him. He still feels the same, his skin soft over the hardness of his dick, and the size of him sends a wave of pleasure through her.

Bellamy’s hand comes to replace hers and Clarke watches as he pumps himself a couple of times before looking up at her. His cheeks are slightly red and his lips are swollen from how much they’ve kissed, and suddenly Clarke feels like she’s been brought back to their first night together. Too caught up in each other to try and do anything else before he was sliding inside of her. 

She wonders if he’s thinking about it, too, but then he kisses her softly as he presses into her, and the ache that she’s been feeling disappears as he stretches her out. She’s hardly done anything these past six months and that along with Bellamy looking at her makes her want to cry. Tears prick the corners of her eyes as she cups the side of his face and he leans into it, and then she tilts her head up for a kiss. 

She clenches around him, her body humming at the feeling of finally having him inside of her again, and she wraps her legs around him tighter to make sure he never goes anywhere. _God_ she’s missed him. 

Bellamy pulls out slightly before pressing back in and Clarke gasps, her tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. “I missed you, Bellamy,” she whispers, and his thumb wipes away a few of her tears before he kisses her again. 

“I missed you, too.” 

His chest rubs against hers as he picks up speed, filling her over and over again as Clarke begins to lose herself. There was always something about being with him that had her falling apart under him almost immediately. Maybe it was the way his hand would tangle in her hair as he kissed her neck, or the things he would whisper to her when she couldn’t make a coherent sentence, or the way he looked at her as she came. Maybe it was all of it. Just _him_ that pushed her to the edge over and over again. 

She pulls at his hair and Bellamy groans before his mouth leaves her neck and is back on hers. He pounds into her and their shared breaths and Clarke’s moans fill the empty cabin. The fire is the only thing giving them light and Bellamy is the only thing Clarke can see as she climbs higher and higher. 

“Bellamy,” she moans, tilting her hips slightly to help him hit deeper inside of her. 

“Gonna come for me, Princess?” He says, his voice rough. 

She bites at her bottom lip, wanting to draw this out for longer, but Bellamy seems to have other ideas as he lifts up off her and reaches down, pressing his thumb to her clit. 

“That’s it, Clarke,” he pants, and Clarke can see the strain in his expression and knows that he’s trying to keep himself from coming before she does. He’s always done that. 

Clarke arches against him, her tears still falling. “Are you going to come with me, Bell?” She whispers. “Gonna fill me up?” Bellamy’s eyes find hers, dark and hungry, and a wave of pleasure washes through her. “Come on, Bellamy,” she gasps, “I need you to come in me.” 

Bellamy groans, pressing his thumb against her clit even harder as his hips stutter against hers, but then Clarke’s walls flutter around him and she moans as Bellamy spills inside of her. That fills her even more and Clarke clamps down on Bellamy, wanting him to stay there as she comes down. 

He seems content to stay there, too, because he slides his arms under her back and one of his hands holds the back of her neck as he lays his head on her chest. They’re both panting, and kind of sweaty, but Clarke wouldn’t have it any other way. She runs her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp with her finger tips, and Bellamy hums and presses a kiss to the top of her breast. She always enjoyed getting to lay like this with him after the fact. When they’re like this, time seems to stop.

After a moment, Bellamy pulls out of her but he settles on his side and pulls Clarke closer to him. _How could I have ever let this go?_ She looks at him, then. Her tears have dried but with how emotional she’s feeling she wouldn’t be surprised if she started crying again. She bites at her bottom lip as she plays with the curls at his temples, and then runs her index finger over his cheekbone before grazing his bottom lip with her thumb. He kisses it, and Clarke giggles before he leans down and kisses her, too.

“I really missed that,” she whispers, and Bellamy presses his forehead to hers.

“Me, too.”

She gives him another chaste kiss and moves to hold the back of his head. “I’m sorry for hurting you, Bellamy.”

“I know.” His fingers trace invisible patterns on her bare back and the hairs on her body stand up as she shivers from the feeling. But she’s not cold anymore. “Just…promise me you’ll never do it again,” he murmurs, and Clarke’s heart clenches.

“I won’t.” She moves closer, pressing their bodies together even more. “I promise.”

They begin to kiss again slowly, lazily, and Clarke’s heart swells in her chest as they lay there. “I love you,” she says as she begins to fall asleep, and she can feel Bellamy smile against her hair before he kisses the top of her head.

“I love you, too.”

~

When Clarke wakes up, she starts when she realizes she’s curled herself against Bellamy’s back and has her arm draped across his waist, but she smiles and kisses him between his shoulder blades. He makes a noise, and then his hand comes up to hold onto her arm that’s wrapped around him, and Clarke giggles. 

She settled back into the spot, even though her arm is beginning to lose circulation, but after a while, Bellamy turns and wraps his arms around her. 

“Good morning,” he says, his voice still rough and laden with sleep, and Clarke kisses his bare chest.

“Good morning.”

“Mmm…” Bellamy wraps her up even more, and Clarke grins. She forgot how soft and cuddly tired Bellamy was. 

“Bell,” she says, running her nails softly over his back, “I’m hungry.” 

“Nuh-uh,” he murmurs, holding her tighter. 

“Mhm.” 

“Nope.” He kisses the top of her head before letting her go, and then they both stretch. She woke up in the middle of the night to put on a shirt and grab some water for the two of them, but now with Bellamy unwrapped from around her, she’s _freezing_. 

Her teeth chatter as she tries to find her leggings, and then she’s shivering as she tries to find a jacket. Seriously, she’s surprised none of their clothes ended up in the fire because they definitely weren’t looking to see where they were getting thrown. 

When she can’t find any pants, she huddles back under the blankets as Bellamy stokes the fire and puts a few more logs onto it. “Bellamy,” she groans, and he turns, raising an eyebrow at her. “Can you make me a sandwich?” 

“Are your legs not working?” He says, the corner of his mouth turning up.

“After last night? No.” She pouts at bim, but that only gathers a laugh out of him as he crawls over and kisses her forehead. 

“Always a Princess,” he sighs, and Clarke smirks at him.

“Only because of you.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

Bellamy gets up and starts towards the kitchen with Clarke’s eyes widening when she realizes he only has a shirt and boxers on, and then she wraps the blanket tighter around her. 

They spend the day eating sandwiches, cookie dough, and just talking. It was terrible having to go from talking to her best friend every day to nothing. No phone calls, no texts, no Snapchats. It was like a large part of her life had simply vanished, but he was back now, and she couldn’t be happier. Both of their phones died, so they couldn’t call any of their friends or family, but Bellamy said that with the storm, he wouldn’t be surprised if some of the telephone polls got knocked out. So, it’s just the two of them.

They sit next to the fire and talk, and when Clarke gets tired, Bellamy lays down with her while she takes a nap, and when she wakes up, they go outside to get more firewood, glad to see that the snow hasn’t started up again, and then later that night they kiss until they fall asleep. If there was anyone Clarke could have been snowed in with, she’s glad it’s Bellamy.

Then, when they wake up the next morning, they do it all over again. She figured it would get boring after a while, but it doesn’t. They even go out more and have a snowball fight, and they build a snowman, and Clarke even lets Bellamy convince her to make snow angels while he takes pictures of her with the camera Octavia bought him for his birthday. But when they’re both laying around that night after spending time slowly undressing one another, Clarke decides to take pictures of him.

There’s nothing overtly risqué about them, but he is shirtless in front of a fire with blankets covering the lower half of his body. He smiles at her as she clicks away, even crawling on top of him at one point to get a better view, but eventually he takes the camera from her and takes more pictures of her before she puts the camera off to the side and pulls him down onto her.

With every passing day they get closer to Christmas, and Clarke’s heart sinks when she realizes she doesn’t have a present for him. So, when she wakes up on Christmas Eve she tries not to wake Bellamy as she walks towards her room and grabs her sketchbook out of her bag then settles next to the fire, looking at him.

The sun hasn’t risen yet so she only has the light of the fire, but that actually works in her favor. She spends a moment looking at him then her pencil begins to glide across the page. She doesn’t remember the last time she drew him, but doing it now comes almost as naturally as breathing. She makes sure to get as many curls as she can, the scar above his lip, and her heart swells when he makes little noises. When she looks up later on, Bellamy’s looking back at her, and heat floods her cheeks as she slowly closes her sketchbook.

“Hi,” she whispers, and Bellamy smiles a little at her.

“Having fun?”

“A little.” She sets her notebook off to the side before crawling towards him and then she lays down on top of him. Bellamy hums as he holds onto her, and she nuzzles his neck. “Merry Christmas Eve,” she murmurs.

“Merry Christmas Eve.” He kisses the top of her head and when she looks at him he kisses her nose and then her lips.

Like the five days before, they just spend their time talking and doing whatever it is they feel like doing, but it’s when they’re close to making out again that they’re suddenly surrounded by light. It’s blinding for a moment after having been in near complete darkness for so long, but then they laugh.

“Yes!” Clarke says, pushing herself upright, and Bellamy sits up, too, with his arms still around her waist.

“Thank god,” he sighs happily, then he turns towards her, a wicked glint in his eye. “You kind of stink.”

“ _I_ stink? What about you?” She huffs.

“I never said I didn’t.”

She glares at him. “I don’t think I like you anymore.”

“Yes, you do.” He leans forward and tries to kiss her but Clarke pushes him away, trying to crawl out of his lap, but Bellamy only laughs as he holds onto her tighter. “I’ll go check the hot water heater then once it’s heated up we can take a shower together.”

“No.” She glares.

“Please?” He kisses her cheek, but she doesn’t budge. “Please?” He kisses her other cheek. “ _Please_.” He kisses her nose and she tilts her head up, asking for a proper kiss.

“Fine.”

“Thank you.” Bellamy grins as he gives her another kiss, and then he’s up and making his way towards the laundry room where the hot water heater is.

Steam bellows out from around the shower curtain and Clarke can hardly get her clothes off fast enough. The cabin has already started to warm so she’s not shivering as much as she used to, but the heat in the bathroom also helps with that. _We’ll be clean for Christmas_. She smiles as she strips off her underwear and then she’s making her way into the shower as the door to the bathroom opens and Bellamy slips in.

The water feels like it’s almost burning her skin, but Clarke _loves_ it. Absolutely loves it. She feels like she has a layer of sweat and smoke on her and now she gets to rub it all away. She turns and tilts her head back as the water rushes over her hair, and she hums as she runs her fingers through it. _God, this is great_. She’s just begun putting the shampoo in her hair when Bellamy steps into the shower with her, and she smiles at him as she lathers her hair up. 

“Can I have the water?” He asks, looking down at her, and Clarke pretends to think about it for a moment before he puts his hands on her hips and spins them until he’s the one under the water. 

She pouts at him but the way he grins at her makes her heart flip. She watches as he wets his hair and then he takes her shampoo and begins scrubbing it into his scalp, but Clarke moves forward and begins working it through his hair, too. 

Bellamy holds onto her waist while she works and when she’s done, Clarke takes her soapy hands and rubs them across Bellamy’s growing beard. She’s only seen him with the makings of a slight beard maybe twice since she’s known him, but now his facial hair is past the stubbly stage even though it’s not quite a beard. 

She grins as she takes more soap and tries to make his bubble beard bigger, and when she’s satisfied with her work she wishes she had a camera. “Now, you’re Santa.” 

“But a cute Santa, right?” He asks, the bubbles jiggling.

“I don’t know if I’d go _that_ far.”

“Hey.” He tries to catch at her but Clarke only smiles as she moves back under the water to rinse out her hair. 

It seems right for them to just go into washing each other, and Clarke bites at her bottom lip as she runs the loofah over him. Telling Bellamy when to hold his arms out and to turn around, but that doesn’t last for long until Bellamy turns her around, pressing his soapy chest into her back. He keeps one arm wrapped around her as he reaches for the soap, and then he’s washing her.

Clarke hums as she sinks back into him, and Bellamy takes his time running his hands over her stomach, and her sides, massaging her breasts, and then he moves her under the water a little more as his hand dips between her folds. Bellamy rests his chin against her shoulder as he runs one of his fingers over her clit, and Clarke gasps as he moves to slide the finger into her. 

“Mmm…” Bellamy presses a kiss to her shoulder, then her neck. 

“Glad you decided to show with me?” He whispers, his breath cold against her hot skin as he adds another finger.

“Mhm,” she says softly, rocking her hips against him, and Bellamy drags his fingers against her walls. “Bellamy—”

“I missed this, too.” She can feel him smile against her neck before he sucks on her pulse point and she clenches around him. 

His mouth is hot and the water running across her upper body makes Clarke shiver. Everything feels so sensitive, and overwhelming, and Clarke wraps her arm around Bellamy’s neck as her other clutches at his leg, and Bellamy is relentless as he fucks her with his fingers. It’s not as much as his dick, but his palm grinds against her clit and Clarke can feel herself losing her grip on reality. 

“Bell—” she gasps. “ _Bellamy.”_

“I got you, baby,” he whispers against her skin, nipping at her shoulder, and Clarke’s legs begin to buckle but his arm around her holds her up. “That’s it.” 

Clarke lets herself melt into him, climbing higher and higher as Bellamy works her. He sucks at her neck as his fingers move against her and then Clarke is spasming around him. The edges of her vision turn black and her entire body feels like it’s melting as they stand there, then Bellamy kisses her neck, and her shoulder, before turning her around and kissing her. 

“Thank you,” she whispers, and Bellamy smiles. 

“You’re welcome.” 

After a second they get back to actually bathing, but when they get out Clarke makes sure to show Bellamy just how much she appreciated it.

~

On Christmas morning, the two of them wake up later than usual, but when Clarke rolls over Bellamy already has a present waiting for her. They decided that they wanted to keep sleeping in the living room on their pallet since they knew that they would be leaving as soon as the road opens, and Clarke just really likes sleeping with him by the fire.

She looks from the little silver-wrapped box to Bellamy, and he smiles a little as he bites at his bottom lip. “Merry Christmas, Clarke.”

“Bellamy,” she whispers, reaching out to grab it. It’s not big, but the wrapping is pretty and it’s secured with a little white ribbon with a matching bow.

“It’s not much, but it was meant to be a peace offering. Of sorts.” He blushes as he says it, and Clarke’s heart leaps as she begins to untie the ribbon.

Inside, there’s a pearl on a silver necklace looking back at her. “Bellamy,” she breathes, staring down at it for a moment as she picks it up. “It’s beautiful.”

“In ancient Greece it was believed that pearls were the tears of the Gods. They’re also supposed to mean good luck,” he murmurs, and Clarke can feel tears beginning to well in her eyes as she looks from the necklace to him.

“Bellamy, I love it.”

He smiles softly as he reaches out for it, and Clarke turns to let him clasp it around her neck. It sits in the middle of her chest, and Clarke smiles as she reaches up to touch it. When she turns around, the look on Bellamy’s face makes her smile. She leans forward, placing her hands on his shoulders as she gives him a kiss. “And I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Bellamy leans in and kisses her again.

“I, um, didn’t plan for this but…” she reaches towards the coffee table and grabs her sketchbook. “I’ll get you a real present when we get back.”

She opens to the page for him and Bellamy’s eyes widen as he looks down at the drawings, flipping the pages. They’re mostly of him, but then there’s a small drawing of her, and one that’s it’s clear it’s the two of them laying together.

“They’re wonderful,” he whispers, then he looks back up at her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

They lean into kiss each other again, and then the sketchbook is forgotten as Bellamy presses her down onto the blankets. The two of them get carried away in each other again for one more time before they have to leave their little hideout in the woods, and Clarke cherishes every moment of it.

~

The two of them aren’t expecting their friends to spill into the cabin while they’re laying together, all of them bundled up against the cold with wide eyes when they realize what they’re looking at. There are a few jokes and a couple of snarky comments, but all of their friends don’t stop grinning as Clarke and Bellamy wrap them all in a hug, with Octavia near tears as she clings onto her brother.

Bellamy’s eyes catch Clarke’s over his sister’s head and they smile at each other. Their time alone has come to an end, but this is one of the best Christmases that Clarke is pretty sure she’s ever had, and when Bellamy surprises her with mistletoe and kisses her in the middle of the kitchen, she giggles.

 _A wonderful Christmas to start things over again_ , she thinks, and keeps her arms wrapped around Bellamy to give him another kiss as their friends cheer.

**Author's Note:**

> They have many more Christmases to come :)
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx
> 
> You can find me on...
> 
> Tumblr: xxawalkinwonderlandxx  
> Twitter: awalknwonderlnd


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